Friday, June 1, 2012

 6/1/12  10:23 PM Blog Post 1

    Well, thanks to my best friend Jodie, I think I'm going to start blogging more. God knows I need it. Well, I'm   Jasmine. I'm almost 19 starting in a couple weeks. I'm a pretty cool person. Alot of of friends (which honestly isn't many) will tell your I'm fun to talk with, sweet, ect. But the majority of them don't know (with the exception of Jodie and Curtis) is I'm pretty depressed. My mom sees it but she doesn't understand. She thinks it's because I want out of the house, have my own life, la di da di da.  I feel alone. I don't have alot of true friends. I am broken. I was sexually abused in 4th grade through 6th grade by a boy named Ian. I kept that in for years up until August of last year. So I'm pretty messed up about that still. I honestly probably need therapy for it but whats the point? I've been run on countless times, lied too, verbally abused, almost physically abused by an ex, forgotten, the list goes on and on. I'm depressed. End of story. I do a very well job of hiding it. Everyone doesn't seem to notice. I never complain though. I'm scared people will shove me away and not listen to whats going on. I know that's not true, but what I've been through, I still worry. I feel so lost sometimes. You know, when I was younger, I attempted (though it was pathetic...thankfully) at suicide. I don't think like that now, but I wish I could escape from the world and just disappear. There are nights I curl into a ball and cry thinking what I have done wrong,wondering if there is something wrong with me. I dunno. Maybe things will get better in time. I hope so. Well, I don't have much to say at this point...I am not great at writing so yeah. I'll post more tomorrow and the days following. I feel a little better but I still have pain. 


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